Here I find myself, holding you again my love, love, motherhood, baby, daughter, sleepless nights, tiredness, motherBalakrishnan K

Here I find myself, holding you again my love…
singing songs, tucking you in the bed for the fourteenth time,
My eyes are drooping with the sleep I couldn’t have since some nights now,
my head pains and my back aches and I struggle to stand wondering how!

You make a disapproving sound and wave your beautiful curly hair,
oh my little love… I love the way you say “ummm” to care
You refuse to let go of me, clinging to my sweaty chest,
those tiny fingers trying to hold her tiny nest

The day is coming to an end and here I am thinking in pain,
Did I love you enough today or failed at it miserably again?
I go over the details, the highs and the lows,
and I wonder if you were made to wear the love bow?

I get lonely, frustrated and insecure sometimes,
I overthink and then get sad and don’t know why?
There are times when I go mad and say things…
Forgive me my angel for I am a new mom and I do try…

The laundry has to be washed, the over-piled kitchen sink needs to be clean
my dirty hair cries for a rinse and the messy house teases me not to be mean
But here I am holding you again my love,
looking at your tiny hand which is feather light
resting on my face like a star shining bright…

Long gone are the days when I took a happy shower,
admired myself in the mirror, dressed well and smelled like a flower
I am tired beyond all measures, but no,
I will hold you once again and rock you slowly back and forth
rest your head on my chest my love as you fall asleep in my arms

Let me hold you tight my dove before a new day begin,
this day which I’ll never get to have with you again…
Goodnight my princess, the apple of my eye…
for I know these days will be soon gone bye
before I know it will be time to bid goodbye…

– The new Mamaa
(Gulmohar Doodles)

8 Responses to Here I find myself, holding you again my love…
  1. Anusree Raju

    Lovely poem! Beautiful and realistic

  2. Ankita Prakash

    Awesome words piled together to describe the feelings…

  3. Puneeta Prakash

    Thank you Anusree 🙂 Keep reading.

  4. Puneeta Prakash

    Thank you Ankita 🙂 Keep reading.

  5. Nirupama

    Beautiful words, I was especially touched by
    “The day is coming to an end and here I am thinking in pain,
    Did I love you enough today or failed at it miserably again?”
    It is such a pleasure to read your blog

  6. Puneeta Prakash

    Thank you so much. Keep reading 🙂

  7. Saras

    Awwww…! So much love and expressed so well. You are an amazing mom and your princess is lucky to have you! I wish I could express myself half as well as you do with your words.. Keep writing. Please keep sharing!

  8. Puneeta Prakash

    Thank you so much for those generous words. You never fail to bring a smile on my face Please keep reading ☺️

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