The New Mamaa
Photo courtesy: Balakrishnan K | www.utopianhere.com
Here I find myself, holding you again my love…
singing songs, tucking you in the bed for the fourteenth time,
My eyes are drooping with the sleep I couldn’t have since some nights now,
my head pains and my back aches and I struggle to stand wondering how!
You make a disapproving sound and wave your beautiful curly hair,
oh my little love… I love the way you say “ummm” to care
You refuse to let go of me, clinging to my sweaty chest,
those tiny fingers trying to hold her tiny nest
The day is coming to an end and here I am thinking in pain,
Did I love you enough today or failed at it miserably again?
I go over the details, the highs and the lows,
and I wonder if you were made to wear the love bow?
I get lonely, frustrated and insecure sometimes,
I overthink and then get sad and don’t know why?
There are times when I go mad and say things…
Forgive me my angel for I am a new mom and I do try…
The laundry has to be washed, the over-piled kitchen sink needs to be clean
my dirty hair cries for a rinse and the messy house teases me not to be mean
But here I am holding you again my love,
looking at your tiny hand which is feather light
resting on my face like a star shining bright…
Long gone are the days when I took a happy shower,
admired myself in the mirror, dressed well and smelled like a flower
I am tired beyond all measures, but no,
I will hold you once again and rock you slowly back and forth
rest your head on my chest my love as you fall asleep in my arms
Let me hold you tight my dove before a new day begin,
this day which I’ll never get to have with you again…
Goodnight my princess, the apple of my eye…
for I know these days will be soon gone bye
before I know it will be time to bid goodbye…
– The new Mamaa
(Gulmohar Doodles)